“Bold, not Brave” by Maddie Agne

It seemed great luck

when I texted you

and turned off my notifications

because I had spilled my guts

into the thankless void of

            “I’m really into you”

            and

            “If you don’t feel the same, that’s totally chill”

Because I had always been brave

            never bold

And the thankless void spilled you back

to me

with

            “I feel the same, honestly”

            and

            “I’m still healing”

It seemed great luck

when my body shook from excitement

and I asked

            “When are you coming home?”

And my girlfriends squealed for me

in the late hours of confession

            and boldness

Because you were kind

            and sensitive

            and attentive

                        (if a little slow to text back)

I had been bold

            not brave

Until

            my good luck

            turned sour

            on my tongue

“When are you coming home?”

            you never answered

When my boldness left me

            so did you

and it seemed where I had two

            I had none

And though God is not in my phone

            I treat it as such

I pray to it

            more than Him

For a buzz

a whisper

            of kindness

to reject abandonment

            which I have so long feared

Because I have never been bold

            only brave

            and it has always paid

            even with you

Until the money ran short

            and your words died in your throat

            at

            “When are you coming home?”

Because fortune favors the brave

            not the bold

Maddie Agne is a Junior at UM and a former LSWA Student Assistant.  She's a poet and Creative Writing major hailing from Chattanooga, Tennessee, and hopes her (admittedly) teenage-rage poetry will reach readers of As We Are.